b r i n g .. o n .. t h e .. d e c o l l a t i o n .. o f .. t h e .. d u m b
2004-06-10 - 11:19 p.m.

song sung blue

i'm really confused right now. i hate fucking defense mechanisms (thanks joe). i want to say shit, but i just can't. why can't someone just step forward and kick start my mouth? then again, if that happened i'm not sure what i'd say. maybe that my father's death flicked some weird emotional switch in my head causing residual depression type behavior. maybe that some type of logic kicked in somewhere between bliss and now and said, "whoaaa. let's back up a little". maybe that just for once i'd love to hear the words, "hey, that thing of yours is kinda cool". or better yet hopefully i'd say something like "let's put some shit on the table and sort through it together". i don't know. i do know that i can be really bad at this. but, right now it's all jumbled in my head racing around playing musical chairs. i just hope that piss-poor thought misses the stop in the music. because i really fucking despise losing. (i think i'll play an uber-long song so that i have some time to think stuff over.)

with my tongue >>
in my ears >>
lusting for >>
last 5 beheadings
No More Drunken Debauchery ... For A While At Least - 2004-12-20
lookie what i found for dinner - 2004-12-02
thank you to the tall, thin bespectacled person from seattle ... for making my life miserable - 2004-11-28
keeping in motion - 2004-11-09
Monkeys in My Attic - 2004-11-06

[NOW].. [WHAT].. [WHO].. [WHY].. [WRITE].. [WHERE]
head still attached ~ in the basket