b r i n g .. o n .. t h e .. d e c o l l a t i o n .. o f .. t h e .. d u m b
2004-09-28 - 10:38 p.m.

the story of herbert the naked mole rat

Once upon a time in a land far far away lived a naked mole rat named Herbert. He was a scrawny little naked mole rat and didn't have any friends. All the bigger hairy mole rats would beat on little herbert everyday of his pathetic little life. He was a sad little naked scrawny mole rat.

One day after getting beat up to look like a black and blue naked mole rat he decided to take the short bus home instead of walking, cuz when he walked home the hairy mole rats would throw things at him. Things like boulders and cars. They were much bigger. So Herbert took a seat on the short bus next to a no-toed sloth named Jack. Jack shouldn't have been on the short bus. He was slow. But not in that way. Anyway, Jack saw how sad herbert was and knowing that he had 2 magic pills, he decided to give one to herbert. see, these magic pills made you triple in size. Jack used them to get into the trees easier, since he had no toes. "Hey little black and blue naked mole rat. I think I can help," said Jack. "oh yeah?," said Herbert in his sqeaky shaky voice. Jack handed him one of the pills. Herbert's eyes lit up. "What IS this?", he asks. "It's a magic pill that will make you big and strong for a whole day." Herbert started to cry. he was so happy. So he went home and ran straight to bed knowing that in the morning he would take the pill and be big and strong.

The next morning he awoke and took the pill. Nothing happened. Herbert began to cry again convinced it was a defected pill. "Retarded sloth," he thought to himself. As he walked outside to head toward school he noticed his scrawny little body changing. He was growing. he jumped for joy. was working. The pill was actually working. By the time he got to school he was gigantic. All the other, what was before larger mole rats, ran in fear. And with good reason. Because Herbert began stepping on each and every one of them. Crushing them to their deaths. Blood was spewing and eyeballs popping. Herbert was having fun. He hated those fuckers. When he found the remaining hairy mole rat he just gazed at him for a moment with a large grin and then smushed him like a cigarette all whilest yelling in his newly found deep voice "die mother fucker!". All the girl mole rats cheered and raced toward Herbert. They were tired of being date raped by the hairy mole rats.

Herbert kept in touch with Jack for obvious reasons, changed his name to Biff, opened up a gym and got all the pussy.

The end.
thank you nando for asking me for a bedtime story. it was a chance to express myself and now contemplate whether i should consider publication.

with my tongue >> water
in my ears >> jolie holland
lusting for >> nando
last 5 beheadings
No More Drunken Debauchery ... For A While At Least - 2004-12-20
lookie what i found for dinner - 2004-12-02
thank you to the tall, thin bespectacled person from seattle ... for making my life miserable - 2004-11-28
keeping in motion - 2004-11-09
Monkeys in My Attic - 2004-11-06

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head still attached ~ in the basket