Come one, come all to the white trash extravaganza commonly referred to as "The Fair". Alameda Fair to be exact. My west coast swing dance club managed to secure a spot on one of the stages to demonstrate the dance and show the general toothless public how swing dancing can change your life. Or something to that affect. To me it was a free ticket in, an hour of social dancing (I had no knowledge ahead of time that I would be doing a demo), and then on the quest of finding the legendary Deep Fried Twinkie. Yummm.

Once the dancing concluded, we set out on our quest for the horribly un-nutritious artery-clogging goodness only to be distracted by the pig races. Don't know why the hurdles are there. The pigs kinda just plow through them.

Hamm Solo won. You go little piggie. Too bad you didn't welcome the award ceremony with all that sqeaking and oinking. Poor little piggie.

We ventured on. With the help of the information booth woman/man (I wasn't quite sure) we managed to find our goal. (Please note that on the menu there are 2 curious items: Chili Relleno Dog and the Cheeseburger on a Stick. Interesting.)

There were also deep fried Oreos and candy bars. But I was pretty heart set on the twinkies, being the twinkie lover I am and also being curious as to what a deep fried twinkie would look like. They're larger than I imagined. See???

And they are soooooooo fucking good. No really. If I thought I could've kept two down I would've tried. This is when I suggested to Edwin that we have a Deep Fry party. We could experiment with all different types of foods to see what works and what doesn't. Now to find a house to have that party at.

After my tummy settled, we moved on. Edwin being Edwin got severly distracted with the infomercial building. He did a lot of ooooooo-ing. He also bought a pillow because the girl behind the counter was cute and from Arkansas. Silly boys. We then found cotton candy, lemonade and watched in amazement, the crazy people riding those insane rides. People are stoooopid. Have they NOT seen the people operating those things?

Finally, as we were leaving I found the goats. Awwwwwwe. I love the goats. They were sooooooo adorable. And there were many different breeds. Awwwwwwe. Here look and see for yourself.

Okay, now everybody - AWWWWWWE.

The temperature started to drop and we left. After all, Van Helsing was waiting for us. And Hugh Jackman was waiting for me. Er ... fine ... I was waiting for him ... sorta. See I spent the entire movie trying to figure out who he was. It wasn't until the end credits that it occured to me that he was Wolverine. Duh. No wonder I thought he was uber-hot. Aside from the eye candy, the movie wasn't all that. Decent effects, but typical story line and typical ending. Better than Underworld. That movie sucked monkey balls.

So I'll end this here. And pull myself up from feeling like a 5 year old (18 year old when I think about Hugh. Gotta be legal.). Everyone should go to a fair this year. Got it? Good.